Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Ya Know I'd Like to Keep My Cheeks Dry Today, So Stay with Me and I'll Have It Made

I had a great list of stuff that made me happy.  So just to be fair - here are a  few things I detest:

1)   Coffee – I wish I didn’t hate it.  It seems so lame when everyone wants to go out for coffee after dinner and I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll have a hot chocolate,” but it’s no use. I hate it.  I can’t put enough other junk in it to cover up the coffee taste so I’ve given up.
2)   Bad tippers.  Come on, people.
      3)  Cleaning out leftover containers from the leftovers we never ate.  I secretly want to just throw them away.  Shameful, isn’t it?


4)  When people water their lawns – It hasn’t rained here in a month of Sundays, but maybe there’s a better use of the limited water supply.  But mostly, I hate it because my neighbor’s lush green grass is making my own burnt brown grass even more self-conscious.

5)   Non-animated movies where animals talk

6)   Play-doh.  I cannot see it, smell it (especially smell it!) or think about it.  I am, in fact, getting a little nauseous just typing this, but alas, I sacrifice for you, my dear reader.  Micah has never been allowed to have it in the house, and when he was little, he would have to wash his hands at pre-school before I could let him in the car.  I’m crazy.  I’m aware.
7)   Tripping over giant, size 14 shoes.  All. the. time.

Seriously, check out this dude's shoe!
8)   Buffet restaurants. It never fails that I will be standing at the buffet behind a big, sweaty guy with cut-off sleeves and extra long armpit hair.  

9)   When people use ROFL or LOL or anything like it.  Is it really that much more difficult to just type words?  And I can count the number of time I’ve rolled on the floor laughing on one hand… zero.
10)  Cats. Does this really need further explanation?
11)  Spongebob Squarepants

I hate you
12)  Ann Coulter – I don’t care where you fall on the political spectrum, no one could argue that this hateful woman brings any amount of joy to the world.
13)   People who are rude, especially when the rudeness is directed toward cashiers, waiters, or anyone else who is simply not paid enough to have to deal with you.

14)  Anything that starts like this, “Most people won’t copy and paste this as their status for one hour. Will you?” 
15)  Any email that ends with “Pass on to 10 friends if you love Jesus”
16)  Salmon patties (though I already know my mom-in-law is making them for Jay when I’m out of town – that smell had better be gone when I get home!)
17)  Twilight
18)  John Mayer. 
19)  Port-o-potties.  I’ve only had to use them once (Ichthus 2009), but never again!  
20)  Farmville or any of its cousins

Stop sending me requests.  I couldn't possibly care less.
21)  Anything gross to do with eyeballs
22)  White Castle Hamburgers, and the lingering smell they leave on Jay.
23)  Pumpkin guts (Why are so many of these things to do with smells?)

Dude, my sentiments exactly!
24)  Anthony Bourdain – I’m not sure why, but absolutely cannot stand him.

25)  “So You Think You Can Dance” – if they’re not celebrities, it’s just not worth it.

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