Tuesday, July 31, 2012

duh-nuh... duh-nuh... duh-nuh, duh-nuh duh-nuh duh-nuh (obviously the JAWS theme)

Don't worry.  I'm just as scared as you.

If I’ve made anything abundantly clear in this blog, I think it’s that I’m a bit of a fraidy cat.  Sometimes, I’m scared for silly reasons, like spooking myself when I’m alone in the house, and sometimes it’s just because crazy stuff always seems to happen to me.  Regardless, I’m really trying to get braver in my old age, and am working on facing some of my fears.

Just to clue you in, here is a more extensive (though not all-inclusive) list of my completely irrational rational fears:

1)      Choking (I have a very long mental list of foods I won’t eat when I’m alone – just in case)
2)      Public bathrooms (or any bathroom that is not in my very own home)
3)      Spiders (do you know how many people in the world have been bitten by TWO different brown recluse spiders?  I’m pretty sure I’m the only person ever)
4)      The movie Pet Semetary.  Really just one character from the movie.  I’m not revealing any more for fear that I will open a random email with a terrifying picture of the unsaid character.  I know some of you people.  I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU, JAY!
5)      Falling and knocking my teeth out.  I have dreamt of this since I was a little kid.
6)      Haunted houses, scary movies or any other time things jump out to scare you (who thinks that is fun?)
7)      Mice (Yes, I know I own a rat.  I’m scared of him too)
8)   Cats.  They are creepy.  You know they're plotting something.
9)      Natural bodies of water* (pools aren’t scary.  You can see to the bottom and you CONTROL what is in there).
10)      Boats (because they move quickly over natural bodies of water)

Now, in case you don’t know, Jay and I have booked a cruise to Mexico in celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary in October.  So obviously, #9 and #10 are things I need to start working on – and fast.

 *SIDEBAR – Despite what my husband thinks, this fear is, in fact, COMPLETELY rational.  I mean, your feet are dangling in a world that you cannot see!  And do you know how many new species are discovered every single year?  About 15,000.  (Check out THIS GUY that was recently discovered.  He looks friendly). So don’t tell me, beloved, that there’s no such thing as a big, slimy, Jamie-eater.  They just haven’t found it yet!  In my opinion, there is plenty to fear in the deep waters (snakes, fish, piranhas, sharks, Jason Voorhees, sharp rocks, seaweed, floating away into infinity and general ickiness – just to name a few).

So, in an effort to strengthen my courage, I accepted an invitation to go out on a speedboat with the Stegalls, a lovely couple from church (they invited us a year ago, but I wasn’t quite ready to trust them with my life at that point). 

Grinning and bearing it.
Sunday afternoon after lunch, we (Jay, Micah and I along with the Jay and Martha Stegall) rode out to the lake together, pulling the boat behind us.  I was very sort of brave… until it was time to step onto the boat.  I felt a little shaky from the get-go, and I know that the boat only goes like 40 mph, but it felt like we were going the speed of light. About three minutes in, as we sped through the waters, surrounded by other boats that were also speeding through the waters, I was hyperventilating a little and terrible things were flooding my mind (Headline: Five Killed in Tragic Boating Accident – Should Have Used Better Judgment). I looked over to my little seven year old boy, expecting him to be paralyzed with fear, but instead he was laughing and smiling like this was the best thing ever. I peeked over at my Jay (not to be confused with Martha’s Jay) to see if he, like me, was wondering if this was almost over, and he too was laughing and chatting as if the world around us was not spiraling out of control.  So I closed my eyes and tightened my death grip on the metal bar that was beside me. 

Jay looks terrified, right?

Everyone was just terribly amused by my panic, evidenced by the fact that every single time I would start to relax a little, the driver (let’s just call him Jay Stegall) sped up and did some kind of crazy turn.  And then, if I wasn’t petrified enough, everyone decided it would be a great idea to let Micah, my little first grader, drive the boat.  And not play-around-drive-the-boat, but actually control it! 
Oh yeah, I gots this!

Eventually though, I settled down and actually started to enjoy myself.  So much so, that when we stopped the boat to take a dip in the lake, I jumped in too.  I mean, I wrapped myself tightly with a rope that was secured to the boat so that I wouldn’t float away or be pulled under by a yet-to-be-discovered big, slimy, Jamie-eater, but still, I was pretty proud of myself.
Feeling almost totally safe

Martha is trying to show me how  much rope I actually need to be holding

My very brave boys
After our swim, Micah and Jay took turns being pulled behind the boat in an inner tube.  I decided not to brave that particular activity (though that might have had less to do with my fear of the lake, and more to do with my fear of bouncing around on a big orange raft in my swimsuit in front of an audience).

Later, we stopped at a marina for dinner (I definitely did NOT walk into the restaurant, immediately toss my cookies, then spend ten minutes contemplating whether or not it would be a good idea to lie down on the bathroom floor for a bit).  I recovered though, and got back on the boat, even after standing on the dock and looking at cat fish as big as school busses (okay, skateboards). 

All-in-all, a pretty good day.  I’m feeling pretty good about the cruise (as long as I carry on a little nausea medicine… and make sure that Micah isn’t driving).

So tell me readers, what are you afraid of?

(Also, don’t forget to become a follower of my blog and be eligible for a fun little give-away!)

No comments:

Post a Comment