Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hold On to 16 As Long As You Can...

Something has happened to me recently.  I can’t quite explain it.  It’s come on rather suddenly, and as much as I’ve tried to ignore it, it’s time to call a spade a spade.  

I am getting old.

It’s crept up on me, and though I must have seen it coming, some days I feel as if it hits me like a ton of bricks.  

Me, dressed as a little girl

There have been warning signs -

  • As I prepared for my recent blog about product-obsession, I was a bit startled by how many of my beauty potions contained the words “anti-aging,” “pro-collagen,” or “wrinkle smooth.”

Me (circa 1984)  Can't you see her smirking?
It's like she's saying, "This is the best your
skin will ever be.  Mwahahahaha!"

  • I’ve gradually decided that painful shoes just aren’t worth it…well, maybe if they’re really, really cute, but even then, for a couple of hours, tops!

  • My belly cannot handle the things it used to be able to.  I can’t eat a heavy meal late at night.  Foods that are spicy, rich or unfamiliar will almost always leave me feeling yucky.

  • I seem to require much more moisture than I used to (is this the evidence that I’m drying up?).  I am always applying and reapplying lotion – the upside is that I smell fantastic.

  • I’ve completely given up on new technology.  I think I’ve reached the age where I’ve learned all I’m going to.  If something more modern than, say, Facebook, Blueray players, or my current EVO come out, I’m refusing to learn about it.  I’m done.  I’m sticking. 

    I require more sleep, but find myself
    awake in the middle of the night
    every stinkin' night!
  • I seem to require so much more sleep than I used to.  I remember once, several years ago, Jay and I were in charge of a seminar in Atlanta.  We went to our office in Houston at 6:00 p.m. one evening to make all of the resource packets for the class, and didn’t finish until 6:00 a.m.  We loaded everything up, ran home to shower, got in our car and drove all the way to Atlanta, had a late dinner with friends, got to bed about 2:00 in the morning, then started our class at 9:00 a.m., bright eyed and bushy-tailed.  Just typing that now makes me ready for a nap.

  • WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT - I’ve seen some changes in my face lately.  Like when I pinch my eyelid skin, it takes a second to find its way home.  Like the bags under my eyes, which take more product to cover than they used to.  Like this one wrinkle that I fixate on, daring it to multiply.  This, of course, is the real reason I can’t ever take a diet seriously – I need these cheeks to keep this face in place!
More are coming!

  • Recently, at a Women’s Ministry event, the Cha-Cha Slide song came on (PAUSE: SIDE NOTE – Speaking of old, can’t we just let this song die?  Sure, I like to “cha-cha real smooth” as much as the next gal, but really, the song came out in 1996.  I  - the old lady writing this blog - was a junior in high school.  It’s time to move on) and I, of course, had to get up and look super cool dancing with my ladies, but when the time came to see “how low can you go, can you get down low?”  I could get considerably less low than several of the other girls.  

  • Lastly, several months ago, I went to get my eyes checked.  It’s not like I’d been having problems (doesn’t everyone close one eye to read?).  The last time I’d had my eyes checked, my vision was 20/20, and that was a mere 15 years ago.  When the dear old eye doctor suggested that it was time for me to get glasses, I resisted the urge to punch her in the face (only because she was, in fact, wearing glasses.  Well, that and I love Jesus).  I am, by the way, still walking around with that unfilled prescription in my purse.  

So, there you go.  I’m a bonafide, wrinkly, crabby, sensible-shoe wearing, knee-cracking, old lady who is too stubborn to wear her glasses.  


My future!  (this is me, dressed as an old lady for
a skit.  I did love that padded booty.  Quite comfy!)

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