Monday, September 17, 2012

Sleeping Beauty

When Jay and I first got married and started to share a home together, there were definitely some little surprises that we both had to get used to.  Jay, for instance, had to get used to the fact that for the first year or so, I’d actually request for him to leave or at least busy himself on the other end of the house, while I used the bathroom.  He also had to learn to live with the fact that I’m highly claustrophobic, and since I, at 5’2, cannot stand to have either my arms or my feet covered up, his 6’5 frame was barely left with a blanket belt of cover at night.  He also had to handle the fact that I'm comfortable for about three minutes before I need to toss and turn. 

I, in turn, had to get used to…

Wonderfully Weird Fact about Jay #2 – He makes the strangest noises while he sleeps.

Jay is a bit of a snorer.  Sometimes it’s very quiet and soft.  Sometimes I fear he may suck the drapes off the wall.  (Jay CLAIMS that I’ve been known to snore as well.  I’ve yet to see evidence of such a preposterous allegation)  The snoring is pretty easy to deal with.  It really only happens every once in a while.  Much harder to ignore is the other noise he makes.  It’s something between a moan and scream.  I liken it to a demon attempting to escape.  Seriously, once Jay went to a men’s retreat, and the person he roomed with later sent me a sympathy card.  It’s pretty bad.

When I was first learning to share a bed with my groom, and this noise would begin to echo out into the night (neighbor dogs, coyotes, and werewolves would howl back in response), I would, ever so gently, slide my foot across the bed and kick him with all my might.  Then, when he sat up startled, I would pretend to be asleep (and wish myself to actual sleep before he had a chance to resume the chanting).

These days, I’ve grown accustomed to my nighttime soundtrack, and, in fact, miss it when he’s gone.  

But just so you’ll get the full picture, here’s a little taste of what I hear when I curl up in Jay’s little nook at night –

(I’m not smart enough to know how to reorient this so that it’s not sideways!)

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