Friday, September 14, 2012


My husband can remember everything about our early years.  Here’s a test.  I’m going to interview him right this second.  He doesn’t know and hasn’t prepared ahead of time. This is as real as it gets, peeps.

Me: Jay, what was the first song we danced to?

Jay: Boys II Men, “On Bended Knee”

 (Yes, we were just THAT awesome)

Me: What was the first gift you ever got for me?

Jay:  An angel holding a blue bird.  It was your fifteenth birthday.

(Correct.  We weren’t even dating.  Yes I still felt the need to save it) 

Me: What’s the first movie we saw together?

Jay:  Jerry Mcquire at the drive-in.  For free.

(No clue)

Me: Where did we spend our first anniversary?

Jay: Applebees in Owensboro.  I got you a gray, lacy set of pjs.


Jay: Any other questions?

Me: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Jay: He’d chuck all the woodchuck that woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Me: Wrong.  Too many chucks.  Every time.

Jay: Why did you ask me then?

Me: No reason

Jay: Is all this going to end up in a blog or something?

Me: Uh... hey look, Cricut Cartridges are on sale at Michael’s.  Does my pretty princess need me to buy her one?

Jay: (ignoring me and looking at the ad) Hey, did you know that Martha Stewart had her own craft line?

Anyway, my hubby has a pretty good memory when it comes to some things.  He can remember details of events I don’t even recall.  His brain contains a plethora of sports info.  He can recall a multitude of random, useless trivia. He knows every word to every song by every hair band.  It’s like he retains everything he hears.  

Why then, can’t he remember anything I need him to?

Weird Fact about Jay #4 – He has a wonderful/lousy memory.

Seriously, Jay will call me on the way home and say, “Baby, do we need anything?”  I will say, “Why yes, as a matter of fact, we need light bulbs.”  Thirty minutes later, Jay will show up with soda, paper towels, trash bags and flowers.  

Jay will say in the morning, “The most important thing for me to do today is fill-in-the-blank-with-some-work-commitment.”  At the end of the day, he will proudly share his many accomplishments, to which I will reply, “Honey, what about fill-in-the-blank-with-some-work-commitment?”  He doesn’t have to say it.  The defeated look says it all.

Jay has a terrible short-term memory.  I’m afraid that some people might read this shortcoming as irresponsible or uncaring, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.  Nothing upsets him more than getting a reminder about another thing he forgot to do.  It’s a little heartbreaking.  So I’m always trying to come up with ways to help him remember.  

I’ve been looking up some tips on the internet.

#1 Eat a brain-boosting diet.  
Omega 3’s, Fruits and Veggies, and green tea. Apparently, eating the brains of other animals does nothing to help the human brain.  Eating animal tongues is probably equally ineffective.

Oh yeah, he did that.  He made me eat a bite too.  Ewwww!

#2 Don’t skip on exercise or sleep.
Yeah, right

#3 Laughter is important: Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up. Since Jay already has a desk drawer full of yo-yo’s, dum dum suckers, rubik’s cubes, brain teasers, and plastic animals, I think we’re good here.

#4 Involve as many senses as possible: Perhaps I’ll develop a scratch-and-sniff day planner.  Smell burnt rubber?  It means turn in our mileage reports.  Smell rotten eggs?  Time to take the trash to the curb.  Smell B.O.?  You’re out of deodorant!

#5 Believe in yourself. In true Stuart Smalley style (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”), I’m going to make him stare longingly in the mirror and sing this song à

 We really are working on some things to help Jay remember, but in the mean time, I'm just thankful that, even though it's never on the list, he remembers to bring me flowers.

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