Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My Day Off, and How LifeTime TV Is Ruining My Son's Life

Yesterday I stayed home from the office.  I try to do this every couple of weeks to ensure that my house will not spin completely out of control.  Our office is technically closed on Fridays so sometimes I use that day to get things done at home, but more often than not, Fridays are used for travel or I spend the day at the office working on a project or completing all the things I procrastinated on during the week.  This week I used my Friday to help build a house for Habitat for Humanity.  Which was awesome, but did very little to address the fact that no one in my family had clean underwear, so I took a day yesterday.  (Yes, I’m aware that there are days between Friday and Monday.  Thank goodness for all the holiday underwear that stays shoved back in your drawers!  Those were life-savers!)
Make it work!

Micah's new homework nook

I had a very productive day.  I de-funked the downstairs – that was me singing “We want  de-funk!”  I made beds. I did (and put away!) 6 loads of laundry.  I put together a little homework nook for Micah.  I called in a warranty for our Keurig coffee maker that hasn’t been working for 8 months (a new one will be here in 3 to 7 days!). It was a good day… until one thing started to creep in.  Something I typically try to avoid for my own sanity….

Lifetime Television.

I rarely ever watch this channel (save for a little Project Runway, and okay, the occasional Dance Moms marathon) but for some reason, it ruled the television yesterday.  All of the programming seemed to revolve around one topic – kidnapping. 

LifeTime, you're making me crazy!

As I watching the third or fourth abduction-related show in horror, Jay turned to me and said, “Remember that one time?”  

He didn’t have to say another word.  I knew exactly what he was talking about.

It was several years ago.  Jay and I were just getting up one morning. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes as Jay mumbled something about going to wake Micah up.  I was sitting there, staring into space (by the way, this is how I spend the first ten minutes of every  single morning), when Jay came back into our room and said, “Is Micah in here?”

I was jolted awake by the question.  At that time, Micah was very predictable.  We would go to his room between 6:30 and 7:00 and start the half-hour long process to get him out of bed – that boy takes forever to wake up!  No clue where he gets it.  He was never up before us.  

Micah (at two years old) - deciding whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah, that's MY boy!

I scanned the bedroom, even looking under the covers to make sure he hadn’t crawled into bed with us in the middle of the night.  I darted out of bed as Jay disappeared back into the rest of the house, calling Micah’s name.  I checked our bathroom, our shower, and under the bed.  I started to totally freak out as I heard Jay’s voice become more and more panicked.  

I ran through the house, rechecking all of the rooms Jay had already been through.  I sprinted through the laundry room, the kitchen, the dining room, the foyer, the living room, the guest room, the guest bathroom, the playroom, and Micah’s room... all multiple times. I heard Jay open the back door and run outside.  I went to the garage, yelling for Micah, climbing over boxes and lawn equipment.  When I came back into the house, I realized that I was bawling.  I grabbed the phone and held it to my chest as I waited for Jay to come back in and tell me what to do.  I was near hysterical as the most terrible thoughts went through my head.  I couldn’t catch my breath.  I felt like time stood still – in reality, about six minutes had passed since we first woke up!

Suddenly, I saw his eyes peak around the corner.  “Mommy?”  I looked at him and just dissolved in tears.  Jay ran back in the house to see me holding our two year old and crying like a lunatic. 

Apparently he’d gotten up to use the “big boy potty” in our bathroom, heard us wake up, and hid way back in our closet to be silly.  As he heard our loud, “freak-out” voices, he thought he was in trouble so he stayed put!  As I wiped my tears and tried my best to calm everyone down, I made Micah promise to never hide from me again.  A promise he most certainly has NOT kept over the years, but no incident has ever scared me like that since.

Lately, Micah has been begging to walk home from the bus stop alone like several other kids do.  It’s about two blocks away from our house and involves crossing the street twice (and passing by an unknown number of would-be kidnappers).  Should I tell him that Lifetime has ruined the chance that I will ever let him do it?

What about you, reader?  Have your kids given you any crazy scares?

My totally-not-a-baby-anymore baby.
I may just hold him close a little longer though.

(This is a great time to announce that I’ve made a pledge to rid my life of unnecessary worry!  But more on that later…)

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