I, Jamie, take you, Jay, to be fulfilled together as one flesh, by a miracle of God…
It has been a decade and a half since I stood across the aisle, dressed in satin and pearls, and made that promise to the man God created for me. The fifteen years that have followed have been an adventure… some days wonderful, some days heartbreaking. Some moments mundane, some amazing. We have struggled. We have celebrated. We’ve lost ourselves along the way. We’ve found our way back. We have made a life together. Every single second has been worth it.
Alright, enough mush. I’ve learned a lot since that wedding day so long ago, and one thing I know for sure… that verbal contract could have been a little more specific.
So for the next 15, I present our wedding vows, slightly revised.
I, Jamie, take you Jay, for all the same promises and pledges made on October 18, 1997, PLUS…
I resign myself to the fact that you are the messiest cook in the world. Seriously, how can you destroy the entire kitchen making soup?!? I will accept this about you (reserving the right to always complain about it), and promise to clean up after you when you cook for me.
I pledge from this day forward to stop taking it as a personal attack on my womanhood and my wife skills when you say, “I don’t have any clean socks.” And I will try not to respond with things like, “Gee, if only we had a machine where we could throw in dirty socks and clean ones would magically appear.”
I declare in front of all those gathered around their computer screens that will not throw away any more of your clothes without your permission. Okay, I won’t hide any of it either. Well, unless it’s really, really bad, and that’s just for your own good.
I promise to dance with you when given the opportunity. Even if no one else is dancing.
Whether every dream we have for our future comes true, or we face unspeakable tragedy, I will be your partner in this life, your “suitable helper.” And I will try really hard to convince you every day that no one could love you better.
And I will be yours. Now. Always. No matter what.
I, Jay, take you Jamie, for all the same promises and pledges made on October 18, 1997, PLUS…
I will let you warm your cold hands up on my toasty skin, even if it’s in the middle of the grocery store and involves you sneaking your icy fingers up my shirt and onto my back. Even if I scream like a little girl in the frozen foods aisle, it will all have been worth it to make you happy.
When you accidentally punch yourself in the face, which happens way more than people would believe, I will ensure that you are not seriously injured before rolling off the couch, laughing.
When you “toot” in the middle of the night when you think I’m asleep, I will do the gentlemanly thing and pretend I heard nothing.
When scary situations arise in our lives, I will pretend I’m not worried, because I know it makes you worry more.
When the whole world is going crazy, I will hold you in my arms, where I know you feel safe.
I will be the Ish to your Ishah, and even when we are old(er) and gray(er), I will look at you and think, “At last, flesh of flesh, bone of my bone.”
And I will love you. Now. Always. No matter what.
Now, come KISS your bride!