There Ain't No Second Chance Against the Thing with 40 Eyes, Girl!

Do you believe in the things that go bump in the night?  Because I don’t.  Well, I mostly don’t.

These guys obviously aren't scared
of the boogie man!

I’m rational and fairly intelligent.  I’m a mom.  I scare the boogie man away. I don’t believe that if I go in the bathroom and say “Bloody Mary” three times and turn off the lights that some ghoul from beyond the grave will come out and get me… but I may not be sure enough to give it a try.

Something happens when I’m alone in the house over night.  I see things out of the corner of my eye that I know are just shadows.  I hear noises that are definitely just the house settling.  I feel shakes that I’m sure are coming from the clothes dryer being off-balance or something.  Yet even still, those goose bumps crawl up my spine. 

I get a little jumpy sometimes.  Partially because I watch terrible TV like Criminal Minds.  Partially because I have watched way too many scary movies in my life (I gave them up years ago, but they’re carved on my brain somewhere), and partially because I am used to having a big, strong man in my house.

Do you think this dude is
hiding under my bed?

Last night just after midnight,  I picked my tired (but still rational and mature) self off of the couch, turned off the TV and all the lights downstairs, and went upstairs to settle in for the evening.  As soon as I climbed into bed, I remembered something I’d left in the living room, so I crept back down into the deep, dark, abyss of downstairs.  Quiet… creepy… so, so dark (I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m 33 years old.  That’s silly).  So, I might have turned the TV back on, just long enough for me to find what I needed.  For the light, of course.  I’m nothing if not practical.

I found what I needed and took off full speed back upstairs (ahem… because I was so very tired and needed to hurry off to bed).  I was quickly brushing my teeth when I stepped forward just slightly and hit a squeaky floor board.  I nearly scared myself to death – literally!  I jumped and almost impaled myself through the roof of my mouth with my toothbrush.  Once I got past the sharp pain, I shook my head and giggled and got into bed.

What a silly girl I am!  Being scared in my own house.  Not tonight though!  Tonight I – wait!  What was that noise?  Did you hear it? 

See?  I’m not scared.  Now I’m going to go up and be not scared while hiding under the covers!