I Want to Change the World... Instead I Sleep

Recently I came across this quote in a pretty amazing book I’m reading –

“Is the REAL YOU getting lost because the FAKE YOU is so annoyingly impressive?”

My first reaction… Ouch.  Because maybe I identify a little with this remark.  However, upon further reflection, I’ve decided that the “Me” I sometimes present to people is not fake, but it’s the “Me” I really want to be, and the “Me” I would be if the REAL ME didn’t win out so much of the time.

For example, the Want-To-Be (W2B) Me stores up all her recycling because she loves the planet and wants to do her part.  The Real Me ends up throwing away said recycling because it’s piling up and taking up too much room and no one (read - the sweet husband) has taken it to wherever recycling needs to be taken.

It's what's for dinner!

W2B Me buys organic vegetables, free range chicken, and farm fresh eggs.  The Real Me stocks up on frozen spring rolls, sugary cereal and Hamburger Helper.

W2B Me wants to make better use of her Brita water pitcher.  The Real Me sure loves a cold Dr. Pepper.

W2B Me wants to read and expand her mind.  The Real Me would love to just sit and flip through People Magazine.

W2B Me cooks healthy meals for the people she loves, and they sit around the table and eat as a family.  The Real Me knows that more often than she cares to admit, her family’s meals come from a box, a can, or a drive-thru window.

W2B Me keeps her house picked up, maybe even meticulously organized.  The Real Me had to rewash her clothes this morning because she just couldn’t muster up the energy to put the laundry in the dryer last night.

W2B Me wants to go home after a long day of work and get on her elliptical machine.  The Real Me knows that there are still two whole seasons of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix that she hasn’t seen… that gets her heart rate up too.

2 More Seasons!

W2B Me is patient with her child, she makes good decisions. She is creative and gentle.  She’s Mom of the Year.  The Real Me sometimes does things at the last minute.  She gets annoyed.  Sometimes she yells.  Sometimes she hopes her son will actually want to play video games so she can get some peace and quiet.

W2B Me is always a supportive wife, a suitable helper, a loving partner, and a seductress.  The REAL Me can be a nag, a grump, an exhausted mess that falls asleep in front of the television, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt with a hole in it (that at least says “I Love My Husband").

I don’t know if I’ll ever really be the Me I want to be, but I guess I will try again tomorrow because W2B Me knows it’s after midnight and thinks it’s time for bed.  (The Real Me knows I still have one more glance at Facebook, 20 minutes of mindless reading, and a pack of smarties before I get any shut-eye!)

Kisses!